why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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