this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
