your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
