Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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