he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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