Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
