The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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