you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
