More tranny stories later!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
we're so committed to being not committed
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
