can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
