I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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