Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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