Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
