If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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