Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
