I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
