Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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