Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
