So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
