I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
