I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
