i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you win again, gameday.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
