you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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