i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
