Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
