i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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