the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
