I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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