she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At least make sure they are 18
Why
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
