I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
im on a boat
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