absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
