i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
