Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
