I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
