You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
