It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
