Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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