Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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