You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
