So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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