Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
