i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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