Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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