I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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