i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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