we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
