Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
