halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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