I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
