i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Shame - the story of my life.
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